Everyone has a price...

...I've been meditating about what mine is. What do I sell out for? What am I placing as the most treasured thing in my life? What is the price of my worth? How much am I valued at?

Deep, digging questions that sometimes make me say, "Ouch" when I see my sin. Sometimes make me say "Wow" when I see my Savior.
Anyway, I came across I Peter 1:17-19 and thought I'd share them.

"If you address as Father the One who impartially judges according to each one's work, conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your stay on earth; knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver and gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers, but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ."

Wow! There is so much revelation in these three scriptures! God is our father. He doesn't compare us to our 'siblings' but judges each person impartially. Our stay on earth is temporary and should be viewed in the light of eternity.
But what stood our most to me was that my value is so far beyond any gold or silver.

My worth is above all the wealth in the world.

My price is the blood of the perfect Son of God.

It's already been paid.
I've been gifted with my freedom to live a life higher than I was able on my own.



I just have to live like it.

A Year Ago Today...

...was Superbowl Sunday. Jasmine was still tiny. We were hanging out at our friends' house and the kids were playing. I baked a cherry pie and there was way too much food, as there is at all good Superbowl parties. It was a great day.
Today was a great day too. I was super busy all day long. Then tonight we had our women's meeting at church. On the first Monday of every month, we have a meeting called First Love. We start with fellowship and snacks, then move to the sanctuary for worship and the word. Tonight I led worship. My first time to ever lead a whole set. There was a fantastic band and four other fantastic vocalists to help lead the congregation, but I was so nervous before it started. I prayed and claimed that I am anointed to lead worship, but I couldn't help feeling a little intimidated about having to cue the band where to go. I decided that sometimes you just have to do things scared and hope that someday they'll become more comfortable. It was awesome. I think God likes it when I have to get over myself to do something. Then He can really take us somewhere. My voice was not the best its ever been. I still have to learn how to give good cues and lead the congregation. But we met with God and got to worship Him. It was wonderful and liberating. Until I opened my eyes and realized that it was 7 minutes past my allotted time. That little voice in my head started chanting, "wrap it up, wrap it up, wrap it up,..." No one ever told me how hard it is to stop and go on to something else. I mean what do you say: "Okay, that's all folks, open up those eyes. Put those hands down that you have raised. Time's up." Hopefully I handled it more gracefully than that but I think I have a lot to learn about transitions. Yikes!
On the other hand, I could just decide to stay up there forever and let the speaker take the lead on when to take over. :-)

Psalm 86:15

I'm trying to do better about blogging every day. I just realized that I didn't get on at all yesterday and I'm about to head to church tonight.
So, here's my thought for today - short and sweet:
Pastor Hal used Psalm 86:15 in his sermon on Sunday and what he had to say was really good. I was reading it again this week and something totally different stood out to me.
"But you, o Lord, are a God merciful and gracious,
Slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness and truth."
Pastor Hal talked about knowing God's amazing grace and mercy. I was thinking that we are supposed to be reflections of God's character to the world. I don't know about you, but I am not always slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness and truth. I took it as a challenge from the Holy Spirit and put the verse on our refridgerator.
I am intentionally choosing to be slow to anger in the face of five-year-old rebellion and two-year-old potty training and independence issues. I am stepping forward in speaking the truth with abundant lovingkindness. I'm no there yet, but God's working on me through His amazing word. It is living and active.

Great is Thy Faithfulness...

Great is Thy faithfulness,
Great is Thy faithfulness,
morning by morning, new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand has provided.
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

I've been humming this song off and on all week long. Those of you that know us know that we have been between jobs for almost 3 months now. Nothing earth-shattering has happened to change that reality, but I have become so aware of the reality that my heavenly Father is more than capable of (and chooses to) take care of me. He is faithful, steadfast, unchanging AND He gives good gifts to His children (James 1:17). All I need or will ever need comes from His hand. He may send it through channels of blessing so that they may also be blessed, but He is my Source.
At the beginning of this season, Mike's mom gave us a teaching CD by a pastor in Branson, MO named Keith Moore and since then we have gotten a hold of several of his other teachings. One in particular is called Forward in Faith and can be downloaded for FREE (as can ALL of his teaching series) at his ministry website: HERE. The scripture in that teaching has just come alive for me. In fact, I think that I have never been more aware of how living and active God's word is. It seems that every time I open the Bible I see a verse that I have been reading my entire life, but somehow God opens my eyes to new depths of knowledge. The greatest part is that I know there are still untold depths to delve into. Every morning that I open God's word, new mercies I see.

Reflections on this moment in my life...

"Planted in the house of the Lord; They will flourish in the courts of our God."
--Psalm 92:13

I was reading in the Psalms today and I vaguely remembered this scripture. Something about it was teasing the edge of my mind, and I couldn't settle down until I found the verse and read it. God is so good. His word is living and active. Recently, positions at our church had to be cut because of budget reasons. My husband's job was one of those. We were totally surprised.
For half a day we sat stunned and in a daze, staring at our bibles. Again and again, we felt a phrase in our hearts, "Your paycheck is not your income. God is the provision for your life." (not original to me, I think it was from a Phil Stern message way back) Amazingly, supernaturally really, we have peace. Not just an uneasy calm and pretended contentment. True peace. Even excitement about what God wants to do next.
It's like when you are a kid about to go on a trip. Too excited to sleep.
Two words from the scripture above jumped out at me. Planted. Flourish.
God has a place to plant us. He was not surprised by this. He knew and was smiling because He could see the awesome blessing that would come in the future. He envisioned the growth in us in the time of waiting. He pictured the stories we will tell our children and theirs about the faithfulness of our God. He was thinking about the best gift He could give us as our Daddy God. The gift of a life FLOURISHING in His house.

So grateful...

I am so grateful to be involved at a church where pastors are not afraid to say the tough stuff. I was so blessed. convicted. challenged. shaken awake by Jim's sermon this weekend. I have never truly understood what being the bride of Christ was all about. Now I have an inkling.
I am studying in 1 John right now and I am amazed at how God is speaking the same things to me through so many different mouthpieces. "Prepare yourself. Purify yourself. Be ready. Get your kids ready." Serious stuff. Not always fun to face our faults and shortcomings. But coming to God as a husband and not a master -- so worth it!
I love you, Jesus! Help me to love you more and to pass that on to Judah and Jazz.

BTW, if you have missed the "Made For God" series at Destiny, click here to listen online.

Christmas isn't coming???

So, Judah and I were watching Saturday morning cartoons. Darby, Pooh Bear, and friends were singing about how Christmas wasn't coming because Santa lost the presents and had called the whole thing off. I turned to Judah and said,
"They're being silly, aren't they?"
"Yeah," Judah grinned and looked at me.
"Judah, what's Christmas really about?"
His little face scrunched up in concentration and then he remembered,
"Jesus!"
"I hugged him and nodded. "That's right! Santa can't cancel Christmas because its about Jesus. Even if no one got presents, Christmas would still happen."
Judah turned to the TV and yelled, "Christmas is about JESUS!"

I tell you this anecdote because I am so excited about this idea of Operation Take Christmas Back. I started a couple days ago as it said on my blog and already it is bearing fruit. I don't even know the lady who thought of this plan, but I read her blog and am being blessed because of it. Thank you to all of you who put positive, uplifting, challenging, Christ-glorifying ideas on your blogs, facebook, myspace, e-mail, etc. You never know the fruit that is reaped.

Choosing Thankfulness

I was reading a book the other day. Not a serious, let's grow and learn book, but a light-hearted, let's escape from craziness and laundry kind of book. The author (Lori Wick) weaves biblical messages into the fiction she writes. Anyway, one of the things in this book was the phrase "choosing thankfulness." In several situations that were trying, scary, or downright depressing, the characters were choosing to be thankful and recognizing the sovereignty of God. This really jumped out at me for some reason. How apt am I to give God praise for planning things out and ordering my life, especially when I am not really comfortable with a particular choice He makes. If He is God at all, then He must be God OF all. So, I determined to choose thankfulness everyday no matter what.
I shouldn't have mentioned this to anyone, not even myself.
In school, I always liked tests... in life, not so much...
Friday, my laptop died. Yup! Dead as a doornail (whatever that means). So, here's the really cool part. God was completely and totally bringing good out of this before it even happened, Mike decided to speed up my computer for my birthday present. He bought extra memory and wanted to get rid of all the stuff I don't ever use. My instructions were to back every single thing I would ever need onto my external hard drive. God is so good! When my computer died, I lost none of my writing, scrapbook pages, digital scrapping supplies, documents, NOTHING whatsoever! Also, within 24 hours, Mike had our desktop computer set up upstairs and running beautifully. I am so thankful God is taking care of through the wonderful man to whom I am married.

Renewing Friendships

All day Thursday, Judah and I prepared very excitedly for company. When Mike and I were dating and first married, our best friends were a couple named Mark and Joy Willis. When we changed churches and moved, we kind of just lost touch. Recently I found Joy online and through e-mail we planned for our families to get together for dinner. Mark and Joy and their five lovely children (and one on the way) entered our house and the years fell away. They had never met Judah and Jasmine. We had only known two (Anna and Emily) of their five (Anna, Emily, Laura, Caleb, and John Mark). However, they have done such a fabulous job with their children that it was a delight see how they got along with Mike and I and with Judah and Jazz. All of the kids played beautifully all evening and were gracious and full of gratitude. What a wonderful demonstration of God's plan for the family -- a showcase of His love, grace, and embracing nature. Friday morning, when Judah woke up, his first words were, "Mama, that family that came to our house last night was AMAZING!"
I whole-heartedly agree!

Rants and Rambles...

I've been thinking a lot lately about the balance of responsibility and responsivity. In my mind is a fight between "Martha" and "Mary." I love the idea that we should all be like Mary and sit at the feet of Jesus worshipping Him. However, if our children are not fed, houses a wreck, jobs sloppily done (or not done at all), etc.; what kind of witness are we giving to others. I tend to pendulum swing back and forth when what I suspect I need most of all is a healthy balance of BEING in God's presence and DOING His will for my life.
I was talking to one of my vocal students this week who was bemoaning a difficult issue in singing that is frustrating. We compared it to sin. The better we get at singing (or the closer we get to God), the more obvious our faults become to us. I am starting to get very frustrated with my own desire to compare myself to others instead of the standard that God set in His word.
When will I learn to get my nose out of other people's business and get down to BEING who God wants me to be and DOING what He wants me to do?

New Opportunity

I am so excited to be joining the Dayspring School of the Arts faculty teaching voice classes on Monday nights. God set up this amazing connection with this fabulous organization in Saint Louis. What a blessing to get to work with such great people!
Check it out!

Blessed Beyond Expectation

I am so blessed. When I was younger, I used to pray that I would really fit into my future husband's family. I prayed that we would have a great relationship. I expected that when I got married, I would like my father and mother-in-law. I expected that we would get along and there would not be huge struggles over my husband. I got blessed beyond my expectations. I got enveloped into a family. Papa Bear and Moma D (my in-laws) care for me like my own parents. They are continually supportive, helpful, loving, and servant-hearted. BUT, God's blessings don't stop there. Mike's extended family accepted me as one of their own. It makes being away from my family in Texas so much easier to have a wonderful family here. Not to mention I have another sister in Laura -- so cool! God longs to pour out his blessings on us whenever we share our desires with Him.

Recently, Mike's Aunt Margie and Aunt Nan came to visit so I made this scrapbook page for Jasmine's scrapbook. I used Trendy 3 page kit by Christy Skaggs.

Healer God

So, I'm really late getting this story up here, but I have to share it. Saturday before last, I dropped a glass jar of baby food from the top shelf of my pantry onto my little toe. My poor little piggy immediately turned purple, bent to the side and swelled up to twice its size. I hobbled into the living room and told that I thought I had just broken my toe; he took one look and agreed with me. We decided that if I went to the hospital, all they would do is tape it and give me Ibuprofen. Oh, and let's not forget an enormous bill for that service. So I bit my lip, taped my toe and downed a couple of pain pills. At church that night, we sang a song called "Healer" (see www.jimstern.com for info about this amazing song!) and prayed for people to get healed. Thick-headed me completely forgot that I had a broken toe. I was busy singing and praying for other people. But I guess God doesn't need for us to remember we are sick to heal us. I realized Sunday that my toe had not hurt since that worship time even though it was still purple, bent to the side and swollen. I changed the tape and went on with my day. By Sunday night when I went to change the tape again, my toe was perfectly normal. Praise God, when we are thick-headed, He's still amazing!